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Sunday, October 5, 2014

Down the memory lane as I sit by




This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 49; the forty-ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton



Down the memory lane as I sit by

I want to hear you as I cry

Rapt in your thoughts I wait here for you

Some say I might meet you when the day is still new

With open arms I give you my hands

Hoping a ‘dhappa’, a sneaking look or whistle to tell that you are near by.

The day is the same as it was supposed to be and even the date. I was supposed to be here today to join you in our new world. I know you did this all by yourself, decorating every nook and corner of the house, keeping my favourite colours and lighting effects in mind. Jai, I completely love our new home. It is so classy, specially the new addition in the house. The mirror on the wall. Yes, I have seen the surprise you have planned for me. I am sorry I removed the cloth to see that mirror. Could’nt just resist opening it. It is awesome and compliments the colour on the wall perfectly. You are so good at it Jai. Planning surprises for me. The pictures on the bedroom wall, I like that you changed the arrangement and added few from our last anniversary actually the first one. The charm of completing the first year of marriage never dies. What a foggy evening it was. Remember clouds touching at our doorsteps where we sat twined up in that blanket. I think we should go to Mahabaleshwar this chutti. I somehow want to relive those moments again. Yes we need to plan it now. It is already September.

Well, the shelves in the bathroom. I think we can put a small plant on it and some nice fragrance. And yes I noticed the way you had folded the napkins in the basket there. You learned it somehow. I think we can keep it permanently there so that there is no need to keep running for it when there are guests coming over for dinner. And I am glad you did not do the kitchen. I had a new layout in my mind. I know you are a great cook but you always mess up my kitchen in the process. You have done the terrace pretty well. But I need a fountain there in one of the corners. But not like the usual one which we keep seeing in the cantonment everywhere. We will do something different. I saw your favourite place on the terrace from where you spoke each night. I was hoping to hear you whistling there.

But where are you Jai? I have been waiting here for past ten hours almost. You were not there to pick me at the airport also. Oh! You had a sortie. I forgot. But I am waiting since then. There were these whole lot of people who kept coming since I landed here. They all seemed so sad with most of them teary eyed. Mrs Khanna said that your chopper crashed today and you are no more. What rubbish? I told them that you always play this hide and seek with me whenever I come back and today was all the more special as I was joining you in this station for the first time since you shifted here three months back. I guess this place keeps you quite busy. Last time you came to see me in Delhi on my birthday, you looked tired. You had lost some weight also. Don’t worry now I am here and I will see how you neglect your health. But where are you? When I went to the washroom I thought when I would open the door you would just scare me. But you did’nt. I have brought few packets of those favourite flavoured tea of yours. Earl grey. In the evening I made a cup of that. I was hoping that you would be watching me at the door as you always do. I have been waiting for you for so long now. It is almost past midnight but I am not sleepy. Mom, I don’t why she has been crying since afternoon. Her left eye which got operated recently is so red. I tell her not to cry but she had been on and on. She also believes Mrs Khanna. They made me see a coffin at the mortuary saying it is you but how is that possible. That cannot be you. That was not you. You are just trying to fool me. I am sitting here on the terrace from where you spoke to me every day. I sit here with open arms. See I am now closing my eyes and I know you will just come and do ‘dhappa’ on my palms. I know you so well. Everybody says souls come to meet their beloved ones at this hour. It is going to be dusk time now. Jai my eyes are closed. Please come and tell this whole world that you are here and not gone. You are here with me right now in this moment.

I knew you are here Jai. I opened my wet eyes as I felt known warmth on my hands. But there with me stood a still time.

Soon they will be getting Jai to take him for his final journey.



P.S. Inspired from the true story of a martyr's widow.





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20 comments:

  1. Touching....

    The pain woven into the words ....

    Nice writeup.

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  2. maam this one bought tears to my eyes

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    Replies
    1. Nothing could bring more grief in life than losing your spouse.

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  3. Upma...really beautiful !!! U wrote it with all ur heart...I can relate to it myself !

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  4. Very touching, the narration. And the trip down memory lane.

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  5. it is difficult to believe the loss of one you love and that pain was beautifully narrated by you

    My BAT entry Torn Pages

    I am now following your blog

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for joining my blog site. Yes pain of losing someone so dear is immense as it is the most irreparable loss

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  6. Believing that world around you won't be same after loved one's leave is biggest fear. Upma you have very well expressed.

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  7. Such a well composed post... The poem to start with was really touching and as you start reading it brings a smile on your face and then the sudden realization that he's no more god!!! I love this post!!! You definitely have my vote for BAT
    Well written!! Keep blogging!!! Cheers!!!

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    1. Thanks Adarsh for selecting my post for BAT vote. I m grateful.

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  8. Lady...you sure know how to put heart in words.

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  9. Simply touching and well composed.

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